It's Me Against The World

Everybody lives in a world where their inner personalities seem to not bother much. Me, I live in a complete contrast world where either everything happens inside my head or I overthink about it. Worse case scenario: something that haunts me everyday chasing me aside from everybody.

Thing is; I’ve never been truly confident in myself. If you see me being confident, please keep playing along. The fact that I’ve never been treated fair since I was little, maybe it scarred up in this. I was perceived weak, feminine, and unsociable. And those are what I kept within myself to these days questioning my own worth and trying to make the world evolve as I wish.

After all, I also wanted to blend in, to see what everybody is doing. And I did. And that’s what led me to today. Fighting my own barrier and proving myself that I am not a 14 years old nerd at the back of the class far flung from the society. And I guess I did make friends, and I love them. I appreciate every single person in my circle who happens to push me over my boundary, who sees the potential in me, and those are my families, my bosses, my boyfriend, and my friends.

Out of the blue but maybe I am really different from them? I am weak, feminine, and unsociable, but maybe that’s how I really should roll in my life? Because after all, I just don’t get the meaning of being human. Human greed. Human flaws. And human never learns. I’ve been broken and disappointed about this community I live since I realized how the social system evolves outside my too-real-to-be-true utopian daydreaming. It’s me against the world. But who knows? Either I change or the world change? Or I give up the idea of fitting in?