Is It Time for My Priority Shift?

Everyone lives their lives to achieve different purposes. They have their own motives, agenda, and not to exclude priority to roll by. But over the different courses of our lives, the lists often change and it can eventually affect the life we’re living.

I used to put my leisure on top of everything else I have. It was fun, enjoyable, relaxing, escaping responsibilities and all. But there is always time when another thought run by and you change your whole principle.

But later when a crisis hit my family, I became aware that I only have one life and I owe it all to my parents and my family. My aunt’s shop was burglarized and she lost hundred thousand of wealth she worked hard for in the last ten years.

I came to realize that a person’s life could be very fragile that the ineffectiveness of their own government can affect their life so heavily and there is nothing we can do about it.

That is when I put everything aside and bring my family to my top priority.

But that’s not the only reason. My increased self-love, and me starting to accept the fact that something I have been trying hard for is not working out, led me to start prioritizing myself, my life, and my future.

You Lied and It Really Matters

They say action speaks louder than words. But I say, the words itself would pretty much describe the person whose mouth they came from. Either it’s positive or negative; words reflect who the speaker is.

Upon deciding to say something out of their mouth, a person would have to go through many deep thoughts and control their muscle contraction in order to speak it out. To put it simple, before saying things, a normal person has to do a lot of thinking.

But you lied. You spoke the non-fact.

All the thinking you would have to go through. The time you decide to open your mouth and speak it out. Or even text it. The selfish decision you made just to escape the truth. The worth you gave me below your selfish line. The manipulative actions you took. The unjust world you would bring to me.

It takes so much to make a lie. But do you ever wonder if lies destroy trust? Do you ever wonder that lies are imaginary knife stabbed on our mind? That the wounds are not easy to heal? That they’re scarring up our lives? No?

Do you ever know that when you lied, it really matters to us?

Cheating and the Science of Forgiving

After quite a while of sadness and devastation, getting back in your old relationship might sound like the best thing ever happen in your whole life. It’s the sweetest and most magical feeling you ever had.

But let’s get all things considered. Saying yes to a get back proposal does not make everything rainbow, musical, and a happily ever after. Especially when your significant other cheated on you. Here come the consequences. As from my experiences, three things you are going to endure with are:

Trust issue: cheating is never an accident. It’s a choice. And if you ever had someone cheated on you unexpectedly, trust me, it feels like your whole effort has been thrown on the ground and stepped on. The trust is gone. You are going to have a hard time trying to trust again. And along the way, let’s meet:

Paranoia: I don’t know how to exactly explain this word, but to me it is overthinking, overprotecting, and panicking. It’s the questions running around your head asking what if it happens again, what if you’re not preventing it enough, what if you’re not doing enough…

PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Trust me, this is the worst. You’ll find it hard to deal with when just a flicker of thought or something little reminds you of how your partner did it without even thinking of how you’d feel. Breaking down in tears is very common. But questioning everything from the start until this moment is way more exhausting because there is a battle inside you over the worth of your forgiveness. Is he worth it?

These are just some of the things I have encountered. Cheating, emotionally or physically, is wrong. If you can’t commit to anyone yet, don’t just destroy their faith in true love.

And trust me, if your significant other forgive you over your wrongdoing, you'd better appreciate them because you’ll never understand all the shit you’ve put them through. And when they say yes to your request, remember these hard feelings they have to endure.

J

What Happened To Loving Someone With All You Have?

Loving is an art. It’s how you express your interest over someone else to them. Loving can take variety of forms. But what’s known best is the kind of love fantasy that everyone is looking for, craving for, searching for, and could not be found. I just meant it does not come easy. You have to shape it, change it, and polish it, so that you can have a love of your satisfaction. True love is not found but made. At least, it was what I believed in. But my experiences so far tell a different story.

I’ve always believed in trying. No matter how hard it is, I have to try if I ever decide to love someone. But I guess trying itself has limitation. And the definition of limitation is also different for me and the other side.

I was in a committed relationship for two years and a half. In other word, I was in a one-side-committed relationship for two years and a half because everything changed when I started giving all of what I have into this relationship. I think it’s worth mentioning that he did put his effort too but only just to get me or to get back.

What really happened was that, I was waiting for a person to rightfully respect this relationship. To commit what he promised. I was waiting for him to change. And he did change. From good to worse.

What happened to planning a date on the weekend?
What happened to hanging out just to stay together?

What happened to communicating well between one another?

What happened to trying to understand each other?

What happened to showing that you care?

What happened to proving your love?

What happened to being committed?

What happened to your tolerance?

And what I just got myself to believe in after all these times is that he didn’t change a bit for this relationship. He’s still the way he is. Selfish. And that happens to almost every couple I know. That’s why it comes to the question, what happened to loving someone with all you have? Is it out of trend? Does it kill you to do so?