But, what now?

What now?  Asked by an indecisive person to himself.

What now? Confused. Graduated and confused. Brokenhearted and confused.

What now? What’s your next step in life? How to decide?

Let fate decides.

But no, I must decide, but how?

When a person reached a mid life goal, he would question everything he has gone through.

I hope

I wish we didn’t meet.

I wish I didn’t know you.

I wish I didn’t fall.

I wish I knew what was coming.

I wish I were prepared.

I wish I were mature enough.

I wish I knew you better.

I wish we didn’t cross.

I wish you would choose to stay.

I wish you didn’t change just for me but for yourself

I hope you’re happy.

I hope you won’t change.

I hope you stay the better version of you like you promised.

I hope you won’t flirt around.

I hope you won’t cheat.

I hope you won’t do anything stupid again.

I hope you won’t break another heart like mine.

something is gone

i used to believe in true love. rainbow. cupid. sweet things. background music. and all that. i used to believe that he was the one. because what we have been through would be legitimate enough to prove me that he loves me. but who am i to know? maybe i was wrong. maybe it doesnt work like that. maybe while i was thinking that he is committed, his love fades. i used to believe that this relationship is about the other side coming to love us. care. protect. but maybe i was wrong too. i didnt realize that it was about 2 people. to me, when i get into someone, i tend to put all my efforts and commitments. i tend to believe that it would last forever. it tend to believe that no matter what happens, it is still us. never have i thought that my actions everyday would make his love for me fades this much. or maybe it's his definition of love and limitation? i dont know. i didnt know that i could be this dangerous. that dangerous when i thought i was doing well in the relationship and that i made him believe enough that i would not go anywhere and i've settled down for him. maybe it's just a part of nature or maybe it's just that our definitions of love are different?