Do you remember when you first started your relationship and
you were so excited for any encounter possible? The acid in your stomach? The
ones we call “butterflies”? Well, I do. I still have it after being two years
and a half into my current relationship.
But the butterflies aren’t the same. Probably there are
other breeds coming along. I think I have 4 kinds of butterflies; pink, red,
black, and grey. Pink for excitements, Red for love and sympathy, Black for
jealousy, and Grey for insecurity.
After two years and a half, I have all the four. I still
have the same excitement whenever we meet. I love you the same. Yet I get
jealous a lot. I get so insecure to the fact that I drop everything I’m doing
just to keep overthinking.
I thought I could let myself breath a little maybe I can
feel better. But maybe I should just enjoy the good little things you do for
me? People say do not depend your happiness on someone. But maybe that someone
is all I ever need to be happy? I think I’m over attached. But maybe it’s the
art of loving someone with all that you have? Maybe the often smile you can put
on my face is the most genuine thing I can purely enjoy? Should I kill some of
the butterflies? But how?
But when this thought gets a little too far I wish there is
a restart button in life. But reality sucks.
Here we go again.
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